When I first met you I never knew I was going to fall in love with you. You were simply a guy in my class, with a really cool name because my favorite author is Sidney Sheldon and you had the same name. I was always disappearing in the middle of class, skipping tutorials and lectures and always landing myself into mischief. As a result I made very few friends in 31/12 at the beginning, most of my classmates stayed away because they thought I'd rather be with other people. But somehow I became comfortable with you, and even took you for granted as a friend, always asking you where's class and if the teacher is in class or not. You've always helped me to take my homework even though I never noticed nor appreciated (fucking delinquent in j1), and sometimes even tried to ask me to come to class. I never really talked to you, simply because I don't really open up to people unless I really want to and at that point of time I didn't really want to make new friends because I thought it was gonna be pointless. After all, jc route is only 2 years, how close can friends be during this short period of time? I shunned everyone away having that naive mindset. Nevertheless, I talked to you during post mid year exams, during all those games in the hall. To be bluntly honest I was simply interested in your love life then, being the nosy person I am. The more I talked to you, the more I knew you as a person, and astonishingly I wanted to know you even more. I get bored of people really easily sometimes. But you didn't bore me. You were sarcastic, blunt, and even cold to me sometimes at that point because you didn't see me as a friend just yet. Strangly, when we played that game where we had to lift everyone into the hula hoop without losing physical contact with each other, and when I held your hand, I felt strangely safe. Sounds kind of ridiculous and cliche and maybe even scary or gross, but your hands were... Warm. And I didn't want to let go of that hand. I was amazed that I could feel like that about someone I don't even really know. After that I became more attached to you, sitting beside you during class, talking to you more, having breaks together with the rest of the class. And somehow I fell for you. I remember confessing to Liya and Gina that I liked you, and both of them were shocked beyond belief, because no one ever expected it, not even me. I was sad, because I knew you had some sort of relationship going on, but I couldn't help but liking you. I wanted to dismiss it off, but I couldn't. I told myself that I shouldn't be the third party, and that I'll be happy just liking you, because deep in my heart I thought you'd never fall for a crass girl like me. Haha, I remember I confessed to you that I liked you, and you simply shrugged it off and laughed and thought I was joking. I laughed too, because I knew it sounded funny as well. Then came IHG, and I was really demoralized because of volleyball again, and I just ran to the field knowing you'd be playing frisbee. Turns out you weren't because there were more than enough people. I was at that point close to tears because I felt really sad, and I wanted to just hug you or lie on your shoulder and cry so badly, but of course I didn't. I don't know if you noticed even. Seeing you cheered me up, and we went to watch the guys volleyball match. And guess what, I confessed again. This time you laughed, but your face was so serious this time, and it looked... Pained? You shrugged it off again, but this time I knew you knew I was serious. I got home and received a text from you, and of course I got rejected. What was I to expect? I was really sad deep down, but I knew we couldn't happen. At that point I never believed in breaking couples up, I didn't want to be that kind of girl. Time passed, and, I don't know why, but you started spending more time with me. It was really fun, making jokes and making each other laugh, "the sun cannot leh!!!". And one fine day, you asked me out for dinner. I was shocked, ecstatic, I think I was smiling to myself the whole time. I had training on that day and you waited so long for me, and I was so excited that I couldn't even concentrate. We went to the market outside phs to have dinner, and throughout the whole time my face was red, I was constantly laughing out of nervousness, and I couldn't even look at you because I thought my heart would explode. I was really, that nervous. And you weren't. At all. I went home feeling like... I was on cloud nine. It was really great. And after some time... Don't know how long again, you told me you told the girl that you liked me. I was shocked really. I guessed, but I never really thought it was actually possible. I was really happy, but sad because I caused you to be in such a painful situation. Somehow, we became closer and closer, and even though you didn't officially ask me to be your girlfriend, we became a couple. Doing stupid things like pretending to read my fortune from my palm just to hold my hand, writing each other stupid notes in lectures, "heaven is a place on earth with you", "are you in heaven now?", so many other wonderful things that we did in school together. JC was ultimately a hellhole, and I wish I never came to AJ, but at least I met you. You changed me, because after I fell for you I started going to lectures and tutorials so I could see you (LOL), and you make me believe that... I am worth fighting for. You gave up so much for me, put up with all of the bullshit I threw to you, and most importantly, never game up on me. Things between us aren't smooth all the time, but I believe there will always be conflicts in a relationship. There are always gonna be bad times, but, you don't give up the good times for the bad ones. You just have to learn to accept that some things are just beyond control, and that every single human being has different beliefs, as well as their own strengths and weaknesses. We just need to be accepting of each other, acknowledge our own flaws, and work towards solving the conflict instead of giving up on each other. Of course, things aren't gonna be easy, but I believe that if it's true love, and if both are willing to fight for each other, then nothing can stand in the way. Nothing. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, but I promise I'll fight for you, no matter what.
Because you make me the happiest girl alive when I'm with you. I love you.
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