Dream

Before I go to sleep every night I toss and turn in my bed for approximately an hour. Sometimes I'll simply stay awake for 3 hours straight, doing nothing but thinking. Daydreaming, really. Usually I like to imagine myself with different lifestyles, like how it'd be like to be a princess with beautiful dresses and loyal servants, or a stripper who's poor and has to feed her family, or an ordinary woman with a stable job and loving family. All these storylines are all in my head, stirring different emotions in me every night. It's the only way I'm able to fall asleep. I can't seem to fall asleep just by lying down on my bed. 

Come to think of it, I'm almost always thinking. There's not a moment where there's nothing going on in my head. I'm always constantly asking myself things unconsciously in my mind or reminiscing the past, sometimes I suddenly remember a bad memory and get really upset. I wish my brain wasn't wired this way. 

Point is, sometimes I just really get so damned tired of thinking. Overthinking kills, really. It's like even before I'm able to grasp the whole situation I'm already thinking about all the different possible outcomes. It leads to nothing but unnecessary emotions and rash decisions. Wish I can be more laid back. 

Urgh I've become so bad at expressing myself. That's why I really love tumblring recently. I really envy how people are able to lace words together to convey their messages so clearly. You can check out my tumblr, http://perniciouslies.tumblr.com