a letter to you

"I once tried to get so drunk
that I could forget you,
but all I forgot was the entire night
I still remembered the sound of
your breath in the night
I still remembered the way
you held me like I wasn't broken
I still remembered the night
I knew I was getting better,
and I couldn't wait
for the next year of my life
because you were a part of it
I got so drunk that
I forgot you ever left
and nothing hurt more
than waking up,
drunk and disoriented,
and losing you again."

Remember that day you asked me out for dinner?

I was shocked yet pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect you would. I had no expectations of what was to come out of it. I told myself to not get ahead of myself, in case I got disappointed again.

But when you brought me to that spot, our spot, I knew I wasn't over you. And when you held my hand and told me how I haven't changed even though you thought I did, I did what I shouldn't have done

I fell in love with you, all over again.

And when we hugged it felt so surreal. I forgot how small I was in your arms. Tears wouldn't stop, I didn't know what to think, but I know how I felt. I felt so safe... so sure.

But I guess I was wrong. I had to be.