Was sitting down, not really thinking of anything when I had this feeling in my chest that I couldn't quite place. They say you never really forget feelings that once stood out for you, and I guess that's true. Soon after that feeling came I felt transported back to that exact moment in the cab, trying to remember the events of the night before but to no avail, feeling very lost, scared and confused, looking at the phone in my hand and reading and re-reading your can't-really-be-bothered reply. And all I could really think about was how you didn't care, and it took me so much effort to tell myself not to reach out to you further cos I knew you would just push me again anyway. I don't know how I did it when my mind was still feeling trippy, but I didn't ask you for help.
In retrospect, I'm thankful for everything that has happened, even that moment. It really made me think a lot about what I want in the future.
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