It’s so hard to talk about mental health because it’s so hard to admit that you need help.
I never understood why I always pushed people away. Why I always try to be strong when I’m not.
I always wanted to stand tall on my own. But I can’t when I’m not proud of myself.
And yet it’s so hard to find something I truly want in life, for myself. Why do I feel so lost?

I want to scream.
I want to scream at myself, for all that I did.
I want to say sorry to myself.
I want to say sorry to myself, for allowing myself to hate myself to this point.

My heart is so heavy.
I feel so ugly.
What did you see in me?

It’s so hard to breathe. I’m scared because sometimes I wish I won’t wake up the next day.
I sought help because I was too scared. I am scared.
I wish the pills helped more. But I guess it’s not a miracle pill.

I will make it through someday.