Corey

I really really fucking hate life.

On Sunday before my first finals paper, we decided to get a dog. After much consideration we chose a shihtzu and called him Corey. 

He came home with us and acted like any other normal dog would. He played, ate, drank water, pooped, slept. And my love for him grew and grew even though only a few days passed.

That night Elaine came over and said his eyes were a little red. It was only slightly, but just to make sure we decided to send him to the vet tomorrow as he needed to do a blood test anyway since the pet farm didn't cover blood tests.

Tuesday came and we did a blood test and check up for him and the vet told us he has conjunctivitis (reddening of the eyes) and ear mites. She was worried about the conjunctivitis and said it may be a symptom for distemper, a very serious viral illness that has no known cure, but she told us not to worry as he had already been vaccinated twice which includes immunisation from distemper so it may not be the case. She gave us eye drops and ear drops for him.

After giving him the medicine, we noticed changes such as not eating well and severe lethargy. He wouldn't play with us, and he spent most of the day and night sleeping. We thought it was the medicine effect, but on wed night we noticed mucus discharge from his nose. So Thursday morning during my social work paper, my mom brought him to the vet again.

I had never been more excited to the end of a paper than today. I couldn't wait to get home and hug Corey. I thought maybe he was allergic to the medicine. I thought about the possibility of him having distemper, but I shrugged it away like any human would in the face of bad news.

Called my mom immediately after my paper and she told me he really has distemper. I was crushed. I almost broke down in the bus right there and then. I just got him 3-4 days ago and now he's gone? Gone because distemper is incurable, and has to go to a vet hospital to stay. 

My Mom brought him to the pet farm we bought him from. We asked why he has distemper even though he had already been vaccinated against in. Both the pet farm owner and doctor couldn't answer us.

Fuck, I really hate life. Finally we decided to have a pet, finally I felt like I had something to look forward to, and end up he's very sick and can't be cured. I know it's not my fault but I feel like a failure. The pet farm allowed us to get another dog since Corey's sick but it doesn't feel the same. I'm already so so in love with Corey and it just sucks so bad. Worst of all is I didn't even get to hug him for a last time before he went back to the hospital cos of my stupid paper. Fuck. Fucking hate life.