It really sucks to have expectations because the disappointment that follows hurts more than you think it would.

Maybe I’m thinking too much, as usual, and I’m having my period so it feels worse.
Was it just the chase you liked? Was everything you said just empty words? Do you mean what you say? What am I to you? Are you losing interest?

I’ve always been a pessimist and I’m always preparing myself for the worst. Because of this virus (is it just an excuse?), I guess all I can do is wait and see how things turn out for the both of us. Today, I made up my mind to not have any expectations, which is easier said than done.

Today, I also realised I still don’t love myself, because if I did I shouldn’t be worried if you’d leave or not.

I need to change... I really do.