Wa, I really feel like a fucking loser right now hahah. I’ve been sitting here in front of my dinner which my mom cooked for over 2 hours, and I just can’t seem to eat. My heart hurts my whole body hurts and I dread going work tomorrow and I just can’t stop wondering what the fuck is wrong with me.

Jesus, the self hate is real? Like fuck man yeah I guess I’m damn sensitive and I should really chill the fuck out and not everything is about me but damn I’m trying so hard to feel better, I’m trying to distract myself I’m trying all the deep breathing shit my doctor is telling me but omg it is so fucking hard to breathe. What is this?????????????? I wanna reach out for help but it seems like no one can help me. I really really fucking want this to stop, what am I doing wrong, I’m already taking my medications so why does it all still feel so raw???

Please just let this fucking stop.........