Happy birthday

So... I failed m5 for the second time. I'm currently under an internship and working under an insurance company, so I have to pass 3 insurance tests: M9, M9A, and M5. I managed to pass M9 and M9A the first time (although I honestly have no idea how), but it was really due to luck. I had no idea what I was reading half the time, and even when I asked my friends to explain to me the terms and methods and all I still couldn't wrap my head around it. I've always been pretty bad in economics, and managed to go through with it only through pure memorisation, so it was really really tough.

I failed the first m5 test last or 2 weeks ago, and I had my retest yesterday and I failed again. I counted the number of questions I didn't know how to do, and it was in the range of 20-30 (in order to pass, you have to get 75/100 or above, WHICH IS CRAZY RIGHT). I prayed, hoping that I would pass by a slim mark, but as I submitted and the word FAILED in bright red letters popped up in my screen, I felt like the stupidest person ever.

I'm not really used to failing tests. Despite not studying as hard as I could have or just memorising like crazy cos I don't understand, I've always managed to be average, and that was what I aimed for (but things are different now la okay). I was really really demoralised and I wanted to cry and I was so frustrated

but those feelings passed thanks to my group mates and I decided that I'll definitely pass the next time. It sucks but that's the only thing to do when you're faced with failure. The thing that I'm not okay with is studying something that I really don't like and can't understand. It's frustrating, it's depressing, it plain sucks. :-(

First time I failed so badly academically (sorta).... Guess it was an experience?

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It's your birthday today, and come to think of it it's going to be be the first year in 4 years that we're not celebrating together... Feeling more sentimental than I am sad, but still sad nonetheless. But all I wish for is for you to be happy, as always.

 Happy birthday :-) 

"I could tell you about love,
but I haven’t seen her in years;
I wonder if I could still recognize her face."
- Jared M.