It's 7.50am and I just woke up from a dream.

I dreamt of you again.

Dreams of you always leave my heart feeling empty. 

It was a simple dream really. I saw you one day and you were waiting for your friend to get some food. I just had to say hi because I don't see you at all. You said hi back and we both didn't know how to continue the conversation. How could we? We've not spoken in months? A year? 

Because it was a dream I don't remember if we actually talked or not. But I remember you told me to hold on while you wait for your friend. And then I saw you ride off on your bicycle with him, without saying goodbye.

I was hurt because I don't like it when people don't say goodbye and just leave. Who does? 

... I chased you. It felt scary, because the feeling was all too familiar. I chased you because I just had to say goodbye. Or hear you say goodbye.

I chased you down to a lift that was really long. You were at the end, and there were thugs in between us so I couldn't get past them. I shouted, I don't remember what but it was probably a plea for you to say goodbye properly. 

The look of disappointment on your face was again, all too familiar. I started to think it was a bad idea. 

To my surprise you shouted back a time and venue. I was ecstatic. I had to go back to do some errands but I rushed over after that. While walking over I received a text from you saying "I'm really sorry..." immediately I thought "he's not going to show up".

I ran there anyway. While asking you through text if you were going to show. Typical me and my overthinking.

To my surprise you were there. Sitting down while the snow fell lightly. I sat beside you and just smiled like a fool. You looked at me for a long time and said "You seem different now."

I proceeded to cry. I leaned on your shoulder while crying and we sat there for a long time. I knew it was time to go but I just didn't want to.

But things have to end. So we said our goodbyes, just like that.

And then I woke up.

My heart felt emptier than ever. It was a strange feeling. All the things I did in my dream were things I did, and would still do. Which makes me feel like I wasn't as different as last time.

But I think I've grown to accept we will never be able to go back to what we used to be. It still hurts I guess. But I have to live with it.

Time to go back to sleep.