Happiness

Stumbled upon some clips from the movie La La Land, which I watched in theatres a long time ago and was admittedly, pretty bored at some parts. I didn't really think much about the movie afterwards because I really didn't like the ending. But I finally caught the meaning behind the movie and I cried rewatching the ending scene.

*Please do not continue reading if you have not watched the movie and do not want to be spoiled.

I remember being so angry and annoyed because they did not end up together. Both ended up chasing their dreams individually, Sebastian (played by Ryan Gosling) continued to pursue his dream of opening his own jazz club, while Mia (played by Emma Stone), after countless of rejections and failures, succeeded in an audition which provided a stepping stone for becoming a successful actress. They both took the chance that was presented to them although they knew what it meant for their relationship.

Fast forward five years later and Mia is seen in a beautiful house. She has a child, and a husband, only that it was not Sebastian. He then takes her into a newly opened jazz club, and at the entrance she saw the logo that she had designed for Sebastian when they were together. He sees her as she enters the club, and plays their song. The audience then sees a flashback of how they first met, but the sequence was different. Here, they fell in love immediately and it showed their life together if they had stayed together. The flashback ends and she leaves with her husband, but not before sharing a long moment with Sebastian, where they both smiled as if to thank the other for getting them to where they are now. For if they had stayed together, as shown in the flashback, they would be happy together, but Mia would not have been the successful actress she was, and Sebastian would visit jazz clubs which were not his own.

The movie provided a very realistic representation of the real world. Their flashback was the idea of a "happily-ever-after" that everyone was familiar with: falling in love at first sight, staying in love and having a family together. But is this really a happily-ever-after? Not really, because they both did not get their dreams. And then there's reality: they both attained their dreams, but they both fell out of love, Sebastian is assumedly single and Mia has a husband she loves but not the way she loves Sebastian.

My interpretation of the moral of the story is that you can't have everything. Sacrifices have to be made. Choices have to be made, and you have to live with them.

Are they both happy? No. Are they content? Yes.

This movie really made me think about life in general. For as long as I can remember the only wish I ever made during my birthday, as I close my eyes and make a wish, is to be happy. But I'm starting to realise maybe I should aim for contentment instead. But I know I'm someone who struggles at being only content. I try to see everything in a realistic manner, but deep down I'm a hopeless romantic. I over-romanticise things, I over-romanticise life, I over-romanticise love. I want a career I love, I want to buy a big house for my mom, I want to buy a car for my dad. I want to be with someone I love, I want the butterflies in my stomach, I want the rat-tat-tat on my heart. I want to be happy every fucking day, in every single aspect.

I need to try and be content.