Just a rant

I do not understand many things, and maybe I will never understand them even if I live up to about 100 years old. Or maybe everyone thinks that they understand but in reality it may be afterall a wrong misconception. Just like how many years ago we thought that depression was a disease caused by the imbalance of the four bodily fluids. Then technology evolved and we deduced that it was caused by biological, social and psychological factors. But what if many years later we found out, by some chance, that we were wrong? We cannot rule out the possibility despite the current evidence. Maybe this theory doesn't apply to more tangible and concrete things, like how we thought earth was flat until we found out that it was round. Can the earth be anything other than round? It's impossible to imagine, nor argue against the fact that it is because of real evidence.

There are many things in this world that people have a different opinion of, such as the concept of what love is. "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy..." is the common answer if you ask perhaps a Christian, or someone who watched A Walk to Remember. If you were to ask a man who got dumped recently he'll probably tell you love doesn't exist. If you were to ask a mother she would say unconditional love for her children is love. If you were to ask most people they would tell you they don't know.

A single question but so many answers, depending how one grew up in his family, what one has experienced, what one believes, and many other factors that I can't list all of them out because there simply too many. There are so many things I would reply "I don't know", and it's really a pain because I'm often conflicted. It's like I can't make up my mind, and it's hard to navigate in life when you're often sitting on the edge of both but you don't dare to jump down because you're afraid one might be concrete and you would die while the other would be a soft pillow.

There are often many things on my mind. People ask me why I look so tired all the time, and it's honestly because I think too much. Too many questions in my head that doesn't have any answers that I can be sure of, or make up my mind about. No doubt that I understand there's no clear answer for anything really, but maybe it's just in my nature to want an answer in order to feel sure that I'm not going to make the same mistake again.